Wednesday, October 28, 2009

30 Days and 30 nights of Yoga

On our last road trip I had a secret agenda ,  one was obviously looking  for a new home. But I was also scoping out a place to take a yoga teacher training . Within the last year of my life, yoga had began to consume my left over hours , and filled me with something I can not explain or compare , but something I have searched for since the day I started darting around this lonely planet in that search. 
I liked the idea of becoming a certified teacher, but more so I just wanted to study yoga deeply, I wanted to understand how it entered me and did what it did .  I also knew it would be hard , and take me away from my habits and comfort; caffeine, sugar, communication, ( the cell and apple.) I would be left with me. On top of it the real reason I could do it was I was given a generous gift; funds to support it! 
So back to the beginning , I had that in the back of my head during our last trip cross this beautiful country. I had done some research and wanted to see some particular studios along the way. When we went to Sedona, AZ, I remembered a spot I had seen on the Internet and we stopped bye for a hot minute on our way to Santa Fe. Since that stop I knew I had to go back and spend a month there. 

So I enrolled for the Fall session packed up my car at the end September and drove out to Sedona. The month was painful , long , and wilding rewarding. I knew every day waking up at 3 am hiking up the road to a 3 hour morning yoga class that it was good for me and I would appreciate it once it was over. But , I had moments and hours and some whole days of despair , or boredom, or just plain exhaustion. The chanting , vegetarian diet and 8- 10 hours of yoga a day cleaned me out, things started to look clearer and I  was able to sit just longer with myself .

Homesickness sunk in pretty hard too and I wanted out of the wacky spiritual community of massage therapists and clairvoyants. I was wanting everything I wanted so badly to get away from ; the leaves , the crisp chill of fall, New England style houses ,the color and fireplaces. Arizona’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, looking up at the canyons I would feel like I was under the sea , tiny and protected by this solidity and power. But the houses are all the same color and design. It's as if everything is too perfect too together , as if you are hovering above it all but can’t get close enough feel any of it. I became aware quite quickly that I didn’t want to move to the Southwest.

I’ve always wondered how people could spend their lives in the same place they grew up. To me, it seemed like settling, and not to mention boring. I will always feel that need to travel. I believe it because it enables me expand my small world just enough to see a bit brighter. But I also am aware that I am no different from these "small town folks" who choose to stay close to what they love. No matter what, there is nothing that will take the place of that place. It’s not necessarily a place it’s a feeling and maybe we can learn to take those feelings with us, but I know that once it goes missing,  I will be back on the lookout, and will not stop until I get it back once again. 


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